Whiskey & Walleye | The Loo Legends | White Iron Lake, Ely MN

The Legends

The classic lineup. No replacements. No auditions. Ever.

* All mugshots verified by management. Bios remain 100% unauthorized. Complaints go in the suggestion box, which is the lake.

Tour History

Five legendary runs. One canceled show. We don't talk about '22.

'21

YEAR I: The First Cast

The debut album. Six guys who hadn't shared a roof since the Reagan years found out the old jokes still worked. The badminton court claimed its first victims. We were doing this every year. Mostly.

'22

THE LOST YEAR: (canceled show)

No tour. No fish. No comment. Real life pulled a fast one and we let it happen exactly once. Never again.

'23

YEAR II: Back in Blackflies

The comeback album. Matching Cupid shirts appeared, a certain cookbook entered the permanent collection, and Justin smiled through the whole ceremony. Doubles of walleye all week.

'24

YEAR III: Master of Poppers

The heavy one. A side-by-side tried a barrel roll on a trail that will never forget it, and the Kwazy Wabbit sign went up over headquarters. Nobody hurt, everybody blamed.

'25

YEAR IV: Kwazy Train

The stadium tour. The flag went up on the dock, a northern the size of a canoe paddle came over the rail, and the smallmouth learned to fear the sound of our outboard.

'26

YEAR V: Live at White Iron

The current world tour. Two cabins, one lake, limits of walleye, and a group chat that probably shouldn't be printed. The legend continues whether the fish like it or not.

The Photo Pit

86 pieces of evidence. No regrets. Totally gnarly.

Hall of Flame

Awards nobody asked for and nobody can give back.

🏆 The Monster Award

For the northern pike that now has its own area code. Witnesses swear it was even bigger before the photo.

🛞 The Rollover Cup

For the side-by-side that ended up on its lid. Nobody got hurt, everybody got blamed, and the trail will never forget.

📖 Literature Prize

For contributions to fine cabin literature. Awarded to Justin, who smiled the whole time. The rest of us can never unsee it. It stays on the coffee table as a warning.

👕 The Valentine's Day Twins

Ed and Joel. Both born February 14, 1969. Not related, no explanation. The "I'M WITH CUPID" shirts have hit the bars of Ely two years running, and Ely has yet to recover. Epic is the only word.

🎣 Limit Club

For filling a stringer so full the DNR probably has a file on us. The walleye have started warning each other.

🏅 The Walley Patch

We ordered custom embroidered patches. Paid real money. Proofread nothing. They arrived reading "Whiskey and Walley." A corrected batch exists now, but the original stays in circulation because it's funnier. Congratulations to Walley, whoever he is.

🎲 Liar's Dice, House Game

New guys always ask for the directions. Here they are, in full: there are no directions. There have never been directions. Asking for the directions is how we know you're about to lose. Rule 1 is lie. There is no Rule 2.

🏸 Badminton World Championship

Held every year on this court. Won every year by Greg "The Shuttlecockblocker" Poterack and Rob "The Sweaty Sasquatch" Koury. Challengers welcome. Survivors rare. The net has seen things.

🍳 Golden Spatula

For shore lunch excellence under pressure, with a dog running quality control. Michelin has not returned our calls.

Legends Trivia Challenge

Waterloo childhoods, 80s metal, and lake lore. Prove you were actually there. No dweebs, no posers.

12 QUESTIONS. NO GOOGLING. NO MERCY.

Leaked: The Group Chat

Real quotes. Real geniuses. Names have not been changed, because nobody here is innocent.

Ed finds a time capsule in a garage:

Ed LowsmaFelt like a time warp to Waterloo, Iowa. What I don't get is why all these empty cigarette boxes with just the full cigarettes are laying around. It's a mystery. I'll have to look into.

Ed LowsmaSmelled like a tub of bong water

Ted GutherieI don't understand why you wouldn't smoke those heaters. Just a waste

Joel MurtingerUnsmoked cigarettes very suspicious

Ed LowsmaI didn't see a body in there, but it feels like a murder scene. Are my cop senses accurate?

The pinewood derby arms race, 47 years later:

Ted Gutherie[posts a photo of a trophy] 2nd place in 1978

RobNot to flex Joel, but we also got 1st for speed. 😂

Wildfires reported near the Boundary Waters:

Ed LowsmaI have a feeling Rob's cigarette started it

RobHa. Fortunately, I no longer smoke cigarettes!!!! Well, maybe with you guys..

And the state of the union:

Edwin Lowsma left the conversation. (He came back. They always come back.)

Ed LowsmaThis is really the only group I have that would appreciate this.

The Campfire

Stories, trash talk, and corrections to the official record. Legends only.

🔥 This area is for the band. What's the password? (Hint: it's what we came for, in ALL CAPS)

The Lodge

Home base: Cabin #16 Lucky Buck & Cabin #17 Freckled Fawn at White Iron Beach Resort on White Iron Lake outside Ely, MN. Fishing grounds: White Iron and Basswood Lake up in the BWCA, where the portage signs know us by name.

🎣 Guided by the pros: Craig Best & Nick Walters, the two guys who actually know where the fish are. We just take the credit.

Where It All Started

Before the lake, there was the Loo. Childhood homes of the Legends. The driveways, basements, and garages where the volume knob first got broken off. 📸 Justin and Joel: your childhood homes are still at large. Send evidence.

The Territory

Every pin backed by photo evidence. GPS doesn't lie, unlike everyone in the boat. 852 miles north of Waterloo, where it all started.